


ORANGE JUICE. [junhao]

by nctisgay



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: & as Jun's bffs, Anorexia, Anxiety, Depression, I'm Bad At Tagging, Inspired by Music, Jun has schizophrenia, Jun is hopelessly obsessed with Minghao, JunHao - Freeform, M/M, Meanie as a side ship, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Hospital, Minghao has anorexia, Multiple Personalities, OCD mentioned, Schizophrenia, Seventeen - Freeform, Xu Minghao and Wen Junhui, i kindly suggest you do not read., if you are easily triggered, inspired by melanie martinez's, k-12 song Orange Juice, mental disorder should never be glorifyed, mental disorders throughout, there are light themes among characters and some humor, this is simply a fan fiction, this takes place in a mental ward, though this story is dark, trigger warning, you're never alone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2020-11-08 13:16:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20836094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nctisgay/pseuds/nctisgay
Summary: In which Junhui can not stop thinking about that very thin boy who eats only oranges every day. A ghost, he was. Junhui wanted more. (And read the tags, please!)Inspired by the song 'Orange Juice' by Melanie Martinez.Previously was written by account: nctisgay





	1. #one

_"That's all you're going to eat?"_

Minghao licked his lips, tasting the sweetness that collected on his tongue. With brown cat eyes still looking down at the fruit, he finally moved them to the stranger.

This guy has been sitting here for two minutes straight now. Minghao thought maybe if he ignored him enough he'd disappear. But sadly, he didn't.

_Now, what the fuck did he want?_

"Names Junhui," spoke the boy, a handsome smile appearing on his face.

Minghao coughed slightly, wiping his mouth.

_"What the hell are you doing?"_

He finally spoke in return, picking up another orange slice as the stranger blinked in surprise.

"What do you mean-"

"Why the fuck are you talking to me, that's what I meant. Sorry, sometimes I'm too blunt."

He watched the cat-like man, Junhui, shift uncomfortably in his seat.

"I-I just arrived here today, I thought I'd try and at least talk to someone-"

"You're talking to the wrong person, bud. I'm sitting alone for a reason."

"No no, wait. You never answered my question. Is that all you're going to eat?"

Minghao narrowed his eyes, his expression melting into one of fake politeness.

"Oh, did you want one?"

When Junhui gave him that wide-eyed look, Minghao hummed, grinning.

"Great. Because I'm done."

And before he could draw too much attention, Minghao stood up and threw the oranges away, shoving two of his fingers down his throat and throwing up the juice he had drank out of them into the trashcan after the dead peels.

He then spit and wiped his mouth, looking back at the boy with a shrug, giving him the finger before two of those strong men that stood at the entrance to the cafe took both his arms and guided him away.

Junhui's brain tried to wrap around what just happened as the pale, very skinny boy with the black mullet was pulled away.

_Skinny. That was it. _Junhui's eyes never once left him until he was out of sight.

The boy's jawline could cut somebody, cheekbones so prominent you could grab them with your fingers. Collarbones sticking out so far you could see them through his shirt, Junhui imagined you could fill them with water.

Or orange juice.

His dark eye bags were the only thing of color you could see on the boy. Skin so pale you could almost see his veins like he was a shell or a transparent cloth.

Junhui didn't take his eyes off the boy until he was completely gone, and once he was, he had something of a hard time trying to figure out if he even existed in the first place.

A skeleton, the boy was.

Junhui couldn't stop thinking about the boy that drank the oranges and threw them back up. The entire day, the black-haired ghost boy haunted his mind.

"Junhui."

_Words words words. Fuck, she was talking to me, wasn't she? Say something, hurry._

"Yes?"

She blinked behind her red-framed glasses, her glossy green, owl-like eyes giving the hopelessly distracted boy a look of dismay. She reminded Junhui of a witch, but of course he'd never say that out loud.

"Did you hear the question?"

Question. There was a question? Had she been talking this whole time? Junhui shook his head with a frown, his soft-brown eyes wandering around the room to rest in a corner, where he saw a dark spot. A shadow.

The woman noticed.

"What do you see, Junhui?"

"I see a shadow."

"What does it look like?"

Junhui's eyes softened, and his face relaxed as he stared at the shadow.

"It's... it kind of looks like a person. Really tall and skinny."

Junhui waved to the black shadow he described. The shadow he saw in return, raised a skinny arm and waved back. Like a silhouette. How adorable was that? Maybe only if it could talk, would he have had a conversation with the shadow.

Though, perhaps the shadow was illiterate, so Junhui didn't want to be rude and ask. He was very aware that not all shadows knew how to read and write as human beings did.

Most of the things he saw didn't know-how.

"Jun."

"Yes?"

"How was lunch today?"

Junhui's brown eyes widened with adrenaline. Finally, he had been asked about the one thing that has been on his mind all day. He had been dying to spill it all to somebody other than himself and the shadows.

"Well, it was really... really interesting! I sat down across from this Chinese boy, just like me, at least he looked Chinese, it takes one to know one, and I tried saying hi. And he, well, he didn't look exactly happy that I did that..."

He trailed off, before lighting up again in a jumble of words.

"He was eating oranges! Only oranges, he had like, ten slices on his plate. That's it! So I asked him, if that was all he was going to eat-"

"Junhui!"

The boy jumped.

"What?"

"That is not something you ask somebody. Especially not here."

Junhui frowned, realizing that maybe that was the reason the boy was mad at him after he asked that.

"Oh... that would explain it."

"I know who you bumped into. He's one of the other patients here. I can't tell you his name for confidential reasons, but go on."

Junhui frowned slightly but nodded.

"So he... cursed at me then asked me why I was talking to him. I really wanted to say the truth, but I was more curious about the oranges but when I asked again he just... threw them away then threw up into the trashcan. Only the juice came up."

Junhui relived it in his mind.

"Then he was dragged away! Why was that? Why was he so skinny? Ma'am, I could basically see all the bones in his body through his skin and he looked so frail and bony. He was paler than the hospital room walls and looked so unhealthily thin."

"Yes, Junhui. You must remember there are other patients here that have different issues."

Junhui stopped talking and sighed, confused and still stuck on the situation.

"But... I wanted to be his friend. It's my first day here..."

The lady with the green eyes smiled sadly at him.

"I know. Just be careful, alright? I would keep your distance from him, maybe try talking to patients similar to you."

Junhui sighed softly. Therapists always said the same things sometimes.

"But he _did_ seem similar to me. He was Chinese, I heard his accent and his broken Korean."

"Someone similar to your personality, I mean. Make that a goal for tomorrow. At lunch, try and find somebody friendly and willing to talk like you are, I know a lot of patients that are. And you can tell me all about it."

Junhui blew his bangs out of his face, sighing before nodding stiffly. _But what if he didn't want to?_

"Okay."

"Alright Junhui, I'll see you tomorrow then."

The boy stood up, his legs slightly weak.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

-

The next morning felt like it had a ton of bricks attached to it, just dragging and dragging so slowly.

After taking his medication and getting his blood taken, he went to group therapy, then to one-on-one, then he had some free time so he decided to practice dancing in the small room they made into a studio.

He was the only one who used it, since he never saw anyone else there at the times he was allowed to go.

But finally, _finally,_ lunch had rolled around.

Junhui entered the cafeteria, stopping to look over the other patients. He remembered the goal he was given by the green-eyed lady.

_Find someone friendly who's willing to talk._

Junhui gazed around, not seeing the ghost boy from yesterday, who had secretly been in the back of his mind all day. Instead of the skinny boy, he noticed a different pair of eyes lock with his.

A slouched boy, with black fluffy hair, naturally narrowed eyes and a cute nose. Sitting alone.

The boy instantly looked away as soon as Jun noticed. Just like that, he had spotted his first attempt at a friend. Well, second attempt.

Junhui made his way over to the shy boy, wringing his hands with slight nervousness.

"I-Is anyone sitting here...?" Junhui asked stupidly, giving an awkward smile.

The smaller boy shook his head once, so Junhui took the indirect invitation to sit down across from him.

He gazed up at the other carefully.

"I'm Junhui. Call me Jun."

The boy's face softened slightly, and the panic in his eyes simmered.

"I'm Wonwoo."

"Hello, Wonwoo."

"Hi Jun."

Both boys broke into dorky grins, though Wonwoo's soon faded and his eyes casted down to the table again, where he had a notepad.

"Um," Wonwoo nervously flipped through the pages.

"Are you new? I-I haven't seen you before."

Junhui nodded.

"Yeah, I arrived yesterday, actually. I was moved from a facility in Shenzhen. It's in China, that's where I'm from..."

Junhui cleared his throat. He didn't want to ask the wrong thing, like yesterday.

"Have... you been here for long?"

Wonwoo locked eyes with Junhui again, and the boy could see the slight panic still embedded in them.

"I've been here for five years now. Me and my b-"

"What's up, dudes?"

Junhui almost jumped out of his skin as a booming voice basically echoed throughout the whole cafe, and a very tall man with light brown hair, who he presumed was the owner, sat on the other side of the table next to Wonwoo.

Very handsome, nonetheless. If he hadn't given Junhui a heart attack.

"You're so loud, Gyu. I'm trying to make a new friend."

"Oh, I'm sorry," the man's voice was lowered to a whisper dramatically.

"Who?"

Wonwoo nodded towards Junhui.

"Him. His name is Jun. He's new."

Junhui sat awkwardly at the other side of the table, giving a hesitant smile to the taller man that had just sat down.

"A newbie? Hi! I'm Kim Mingyu. I see you've met Wonwoo."

The boy had a low voice and puppy-like energy to him. Big puppy-like energy.

"Uh, I can go if you two-"

"No!" Both boys exclaimed at the same time.

"Stay," Wonwoo mumbled softly, making Junhui's heart race as he looked into his pleading eyes.

_Did they really want him to stay?_

"Yeah, stay. You're our friend now, you're stuck with us. Sorry." Mingyu mumbled, shrugging.

At that comment, Junhui's face lit up, and he nodded eagerly.

"What are you in for?" Mingyu asked, earning a slap on the arm from Wonwoo.

"Don't be rude. You don't ask someone that, we talked about this dumbass."

"He's right. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you," Mingyu apologized, making Junhui chuckle.

"No, believe me it's alright."

Junhui casted his eyes down, taking a deep breath. _Just say it. Just say it. _He looked up again, hissing ringing in the back of his head. He held back from cringing. It happened when he felt stressed.

"Jun, you don't have to-"

_Say it. Why are you scared?_

"The doctors, I have something called schizoaffective disorder. Basically, uh- schizophrenia?"

He let out his long-awaited breath, the hissing stopping. It grew silent, and Junhui began to panic again, until Wonwoo smiled softly.

"I'm in for depression, I tried killing myself six times. Mingyu has-"

"ADHD, bipolar disorder, I'm also manic," said the tall man as if he'd said it a million times before, eyes cast down and pencil now scribbling out a drawing in the notebook Wonwoo had in front of him before.

Junhui's racing heart slowed to normal once the other two boys, his new friends, shared their reasons as well. Depression, he had that too.

"I didn't know there was... different patients here. Back in China I was alone... I never got to meet other people like this with different things."

Wonwoo grinned.

"Yeah, you'll get lots more freedom here. Everyone is here for a different reason."

Junhui looked around the cafeteria, seeing a bunch of different patients. A girl dancing, some talking with the therapists, some laughing with friends, others keeping to themselves.

He began to notice all the little ticks they had. One boy kept fixing the way his tray sat on the table, tapping his fork twice before taking a bite of whatever was on his tray. Another girl sitting near the doors was talking animatedly. Though, there was nobody visible that she was talking to.

"What other... differences do people have here?"

The question slipped passed Junhui's lips before he could stop it. Wonwoo smiled, tapping Mingyu's arm, jerking his head to the side.

"Guy sitting down there, right there, anger issues. And depression. Names Jihoon. He talks to nobody but this other boy, Soonyoung. He writes a lot of music." Mingyu mumbled in a hushed voice like he was giving top-secret information that nobody but Junhui could know.

Junhui looked carefully, spotting a shorter boy hard at work on a laptop. Did they allow electronics here? To the patients?

"Over there, pretty boy with the blond hair, severe OCD. That's Jeonghan. He's actually kind of cool." Wonwoo added after Mingyu.

Junhui observed the handsome boy with the blond hair sitting near the doors who was taking deep breaths and tapping his fingers, counting under his breath.

"Kid next to him, Joshua, severe health anxiety. He always thinks he has a disease or he'll catch one, so he's very anti-germ. Oh, and a straight Christian."

"We wouldn't ever get along with him." Mingyu joked, grinning like a dork before getting another slap from Wonwoo on the arm.

Junhui absorbed all this information, smiling slightly. This was so interesting, being around different people. Breathing with different people. Gazing at the boys in front of him, he loved his new friends already.

As Wonwoo and Mingyu explained more, Junhui paying close attention to their words and the patients they were telling him about, his focus all of a sudden was completely lost.

As if a natural reaction, his eyes zoned in on the spirit that entered the cafe.

Dark black bangs hanging in his eyes, baggy clothing hanging off of his stick-like frame, cheekbones and jawline still as sharp as Junhui remembered.

It was him. The ghost boy.

The words couldn't come quick enough.

"Jun, are you okay?"

Junhui's eyes didn't leave the Chinese boy for a moment as he watched the presence sit down alone at a table.

"W-What about him?" Junhui mumbled, almost choking on his words.

There was a slight pause pause in conversation.

"That's Minghao, he has an eating disorder."

"Anorexia, I think?"

"Yeah. He's been here for about a month."

_Only a month?_

"I've never seen him talk to anybody. Apparently he had earned unmonitored lunch privileges, like patients do after a week or two, and he just... ate oranges and threw up." Wonwoo mumbled.

"Yeah, I heard it happened yesterday too."

"I was there." Jun blurted.

Wonwoo and Mingyu just looked at him. He swallowed nervously.

"I tried talking to him because...I didn't know anybody. He wasn't very happy about that."

Wonwoo just shook his head.

"He's such an asshole to everybody. Like yeah, life sucks major ass but we're all dealing with it just as much as he is." Wonwoo ranted, scrunching up his nose in annoyance as he took the notebook back from Mingyu.

The taller man pouted.

"Hey! I wasn't done!"

"Sit with us from now on. I like you, Jun."

A smile crept onto Junhui's lips before he could help it.

"I like you guys too."

His gaze lingered over in the direction of the black-haired ghost that he now knew was Minghao. _Anorexia_, an eating disorder. That's why he was so skinny like that. Some of Junhui's questions were answered, but some still remained untouched.

For example,_ why would such a pretty boy starve himself?_

Something about Minghao entertained Junhui's mind and poked his curiosity so continuously it was almost painful. He was going to find out more. He had to. 

"Jun, you good bro?"

Junhui snapped out of his daze, gazing back at Mingyu.

_"Yeah, I'm fine."_


	2. #two

"Have you ever thought about why we're here? Who we are? What the reason was for our creation? God isn't real and there's no heaven. But, there is a hell."

Junhui's head spun around and around, his heart beating quick in his chest, reminding him he was alive. He listened closely.

"We're living in it. Right here, right now. This is hell. We're all dead. You're dead. I'm dead. He's dead. She's dead. They're all dead. And we're being punished, so they put us here. Who? Whoever is making these bad things happen to us because we must have done something to deserve this, right?"

The voice continued on.

"So Junhui, why do you think we're here? And how do you know that the reflection staring back at you in the mirror isn't someone else? Something else? An illusion? Be more aware when you are walking awake, look for the signs. Look for the _people_."

Junhui swallowed the dryness in his throat, having trouble speaking with such little spit in his mouth. But, he answered anyway.

"So, we're all dead, and this is punishment," the boy repeated, tilting his head in hopes he would get reassurance.

The figure smiled.

"Good, Junhui. Yes. We are simply living after the words _game over. _That is exactly where we are."

Junhui squinted at the shadow, reaching up to touch his own forehead, hearing a muffled voice somewhere in the distance.

_"Junhui? Jun, its time to wake up."_

The Chinese boy sat there for a moment longer, across from the shadow who simply nodded.

"Our time is up, I will see you another day. But, before you go I must tell you-"

_"Junhui!"_

The boy snapped awake, barely prying open his eyelids to see the face of the nurse standing right above him, holding a cup of water and his blue and white pills.

"There you are, good morning love! It's time to take your meds."

Junhui couldn't help but give a little glare, sitting up and sighing roughly, swallowing the pills and gulping down the water in a rush afterward.

"I was talking to them, they wanted to tell me something and you interrupted," Junhui mumbled sourly, watching the rest of the water swish around in his cup.

"I haven't seen them in a few nights, we were having a good talk, too. About death and punishment, and the reason why we're here..."

Junhui rambled on to the nurse, handing her back the cup and crawling out of his bed to stretch and run a hand through his tangly morning hair.

He had been here for almost four weeks now, growing used to his new schedule. And, of course, the people. Wonwoo and Mingyu, especially. The only good people he's met so far.

"I'm very sorry about that, Jun. It wasn't my intention. Say, get dressed and we'll walk to breakfast, alright?"

Junhui dropped his hands from messing with his hair, taking a moment to analyze the skin covering his fingers.

_Was this real? Was he here?_

"Yes," Junhui replied, curling his fingers into his palm, and uncurling them a second later.

"I'll be right out."

-

Junhui sprawled out on his back onto the wooden floor, the coolness feeling nice against his skin as he let a long sigh escape his lips. _I'll dance in just a minute, _he told himself, closing his eyes under the dim lights.

He reached his hands above his body, letting them stand in the air by themselves. He imagined he was floating, for a second, suspended in the air under a cloudless sky on a briskly cool yet warm fall afternoon, his favorite weather.

If he could have one superpower, it would be to fly, without a doubt. He thought about it quite a lot, actually. More than he should be thinking about other things, and perhaps that was okay.

To him, at least, being distracted was better than being in reality all the time.

Once he was done with his daily moment of peace, of imagining he was anywhere but here, he opened his eyes to only have his heart stop dead in his chest for three seconds straight.

_"Can you move?"_

The diva-like Chinese voice floated to his ears like a song, followed by the face full of pale, transparent skin, a black fluffy mullet, and two eyes glaring with annoyance.

Junhui thought he was dead, seeing the ghost boy above him like this, glaring down at him like he was a merely a bug in his path. Junhui believed for a moment this was it, that this was the moment after _game over _like they told him in his dream.

"Am... I dead?"

Junhui didn't know what hit him until ghostly, pale, cold fingers were slapping him square across the cheek, taking the breath out of his lungs.

_Holy shit._

"Not yet, idiot. Are you deaf? I said, get up," the skinny boy growled.

Junhui laid there pathetically, his own hand now over the cheek Minghao had slapped, a pout on his lips but he also fascinated at the same time. And confused, and nervous.

And completely shocked from his head to his toes.

_The ghost boy_ _was back. So, he was real after all and not just a figure of Junhui's imagination..._

"I'll step on you if I have to," the smooth Chinese voice spoke again.

Junhui sat up slowly, feeling the blood rush down from his head as he looked over at the presence, at the skinny boy in sweatpants and a t-shirt, stretching his long, lanky arms.

Junhui forgot what language he spoke for a second, even though he spoke only two, neither of them came to his mind.

"I-I... what are you doing here?" Junhui blurted out stupidly, almost speaking in Chinese to the fellow male.

Minghao let an airy laugh pass his lips, clearly amused by Junhui for a reason the boy on the floor couldn't pinpoint.

"My schedule got changed. This is the only free time I have to dance."

Junhui gasped.

"You're here to dance too?!"

"No, I'm just here to stretch and stare at the wall. _Yes_, I'm here dance."

Junhui's face lit up and then fell as he remembered his first day officially meeting the ghost boy. The oranges, the harsh words, the throwing up. He hadn't seen the boy since then.

_Don't ask questions, Jun. Remember to be respectful, he is different than you._

"I just didn't know... there were other patients that liked to practice dance as well. I thought I was the only one who used this studio."

Junhui never averted his gaze from Minghao, who was minding his own business, now stretching his long legs on the floor. Junhui was for sure the other was taller than him. His... thin complexion made him look like it from here anyway.

"If you're staying, that side is yours this side is mine, so it's fair. Cross over here and I'll kick you."

Junhui stumbled to his feet, tripping slightly, earning a snicker from Minghao.

_"Clumsy for a dancer," _the skinny boy mumbled.

Junhui dusted himself off, composing himself even though a dark color bloomed on both of his cheeks. He could be assertive, too.

"Sorry, you were the one that just walked in here and slapped me across the face, _asshole_."

"Do you own the studio?"

"Well, no-"

"Exactly. Anybody can walk in here, then. Hm?"

_Sassy_. Whenever Minghao spoke like that, his Chinese accent came out just a little bit more and laid on thicker. As much as it pissed Junhui off, it couldn't help but think it was slightly adorable. 

"Stop staring," Minghao scolded.

Junhui snapped his eyes away. _Oh boy, this was going to be hard._

-

Junhui really, so badly wanted to see the ghost boy dance. He wanted to see how easily he would do it, being so skinny, and he wanted to see his technique and his facial expressions and everything.

But, sadly, once Minghao had just finished stretching, Junhui got word from an administrator that his therapist wanted to see him, the lady with the green eyes and the glasses.

He stood up, gazing over at the other boy for half a second before turning around and walking slowly towards the door. Should he say goodbye...?

_"Goodbye, Jun."_

The boy almost stopped in his tracks, not believing what he had heard. Had the ghost boy actually said that? He turned around to see Minghao minding his own business, however, and Junhui bit his lip.

_It must have been in his head again._

"Coming, Junhui?" the administrator asked kindly from outside the door.

The boy nodded, and just as he finally averted his head away from the ghost boy, Minghao had made eye contact with him, just for a millisecond, and his face burned in Junhui's mind the whole time he walked out the door.

It made his heart race, for reasons unknown to him. _Why was he so intrigued by this boy?_

"Are you having a good day, Jun?" the male administrator asked him.

Jun half nodded, looking down at his hands as they walked up the hallway, once again curling his fingers into his palms, before uncurling them slowly.

_"Yeah. I am."_

-

"You what? He what? Really? Shit."

That was Wonwoo's reaction to Junhui telling him about his encounter with the ghost boy in the studio earlier that morning.

Mingyu scoffed, feeding himself a carrot.

"I would have slapped him right back. Probably would have broken his jaw from how skinny-"

"Kim Mingyu!" Wonwoo scolded the taller boy, slapping him on the arm, earning a pout from the big puppy.

Junhui hid his want to see the other Chinese boy dance and his desire to talk to Minghao from his two friends who now bickered over whether carrots were good-tasting or not.

"The doctor put me on new meds, and not I'm not even hungry," Wonwoo puffed out his cheeks, nudging his tray over to Mingyu, flopping cheek first onto the table.

Junhui reached down to pet Wonwoo's curly black hair, poking his cheek.

"You look like a sad fish," Junhui remarked with a chuckle, making Wonwoo pout more.

"We're all sad fish, stuck in a tank," Mingyu mumbled emotionlessly, balancing a carrot in the side of Wonwoo's temple.

"You're right Junnie. I'm a sad fish, but without the fish part. I'm just sad."

Junhui frowned, removing the carrot from the smaller's face.

"Tell me," Wonwoo mumbled suddenly, lifting his head and cupping Jun's face with wide eyes.

"Can you read my mind? Look into my eyes."

Junhui stared long and hard into Wonwoo's dark orbs, trying not to blink as the other's eyes bored into his own soul.

"What am I thinking right now?" Wonwoo questioned, raising his eyebrows, never blinking.

He had grown close with both boys over his span of what was going to be a full month at this place. He looked forward to seeing them every day, that was perhaps the only thing he looked forward to. _For now._

"We're mentally ill not physics," Mingyu mumbled, making Junhui laugh and break eye contact with the boy.

"You guys are so mean," Wonwoo sulked, laying his head on the table and curling his arms around himself.

Junhui and Mingyu continued to teasingly laugh at the black-haired boy, soon apologizing to the over-dramatic Wonwoo and continuing on till the lunch session was over, and they were forced to continue on with their day.

-

Lying to his therapist wasn't as hard as he thought it would be. Though, as he continued talking with her, the tapping in his ears and the hissing in the left side of his head got louder and louder.

It wasn't until Junhui whimpered at the pain did he finally speak up.

"Can I just have a second?"

The Chinese boy leaned over in his chair, clasping his hands over his ears and pressing his fingers to his temples, shutting his eyes tightly.

"It hurts," he mumbled, tears building up behind his eyes.

He didn't know what this was happening right now, why the whispers were getting louder, why his heart was racing to catch up with his uneven breathing. He couldn't think straight, not with the loudness ringing in his ears, not with the struggle it took to breathe.

He didn't know how much time had passed, but it seemed like forever until hands were soon trying to gently guide his own away from his ears.

"Junhui," a gentle voice spoke, echoing through his mind.

"Open your eyes, Jun. It's _okay_."

_"No."_

"Junhui-"

"NO!"

He tore his hands out of her grip, closing them back over his ears, where the whispering was now on both sides of his head.

_Please stop. Please stop._

Junhui pressed his hands harder to his ears, whispering pleas under his breath for anything at all to cease, for everything to just stop. And when he couldn't take it anymore, he screamed and yelled, and when he did, everything _stopped._

Shakily, he uncovered his ears, opening his eyes coated with dry tears, wet ones dissolving them away as he lifted his head slowly.

Nobody was in the room when he looked around. Not the green-eyed lady, nor any administrator. Just the light blue-painted walls reflecting the dim light coming from the singular glass light on the ceiling.

Junhui, however, hardly missed the black silhouette.

He dried his tears on the back of his hand, letting out a soft, weakened laugh.

"It's just you," he mumbled, casting his eyes down to his lap, and his hands that were lying palms up on his thighs.

He looked back up at the shadow, blinking a few times till it went away and faded into the sky-blue wall. His heart ached, though he didn't call out for it to come back.

_He hated being alone, but he hated being selfish._

"Junhui."

He looked up again, seeing the green-eyed lady, holding her clipboard with a softened expression on her face. Junhui's didn't change from his distraught one.

"You had an episode. Would you like some water?"

The boy sniffled, curling his fingers into his palm, and keeping them like that, balled into fists.

_"No."_


	3. #three

Junhui always wondered why the air at night felt different and lighter than the day's air, especially now, since the clock read 2:36 am and his eyes were boring into the black ceiling of his quiet room. The question of why he was awake and unable to close his eyes remained untouched as he sat up, shaking his head and touching his face and puffy eyes.

His feet felt like they wanted to go somewhere unknown to him, and his head was swimming with so many random and useless thoughts Junhui could hardly picture himself lying back down and attempting to immerse himself back into a slumber.

He had to get up, he just had to.

And get up he did, padding his away across the floor that felt painfully cold against his bare feet, slipping on his shoes and a sweatshirt as if he were going on some expedition in the wilderness.

Silent among the other rooms filled with sleeping bodies, he tip-toed down the hallway, moving like a stealthy ninja into the living rooms. It was when he almost face-planted over a bean bag chair did he slow down his footsteps, and in about two more minutes, he was stepping into the darkened studio and closing the door behind himself.

Taking a deep breath that filled his chest with relief that he made it without getting busted, he reached for the light switch.

_"Hey!"_

Junhui let out an embarrassingly girlish scream as light filled the room, revealing none other than the pale ghost boy standing outstretched in the middle of the studio.

Junhui clutched at his chest as if his heart was about to leap out and walk away. He, for once, could not believe what he saw in front of him.

"W-What the are you doing here?" Junhui rambled, his cat-like eyes wide with panic, surprise, and embarrassment.

"I could ask you the same. I'm dancing, what does it look like I'm doing?" Minghao replied smoothly, though a small look of surprise danced across his bony face and shined in the pits of his brown eyes.

Junhui let out a shaky breath, dropping his hands by his sides.

"I... couldn't sleep."

"Can't we _all_?”

Junhui watched the boy walk to the other side of the studio, bend down, and start picking up his things.

"W-Wait, hold on. You don't have to go. I'll take this side you take that side?" Junhui stuttered like a fool, cringing at himself.

Minghao all of a sudden turned around, casting his eyes into Junhui's with a stare that was blank. It was the smile on the boy's face that threw the other Chinese boy off.

"I have to go. I can't dance in front of people at this hour-"

"And why not? You were just doing it," Junhui interrupted.

"But _you_ weren't here."

"So? There's barely a difference, I think."

"God, are you always this annoying?"

"Are you always this _mean_?" Junhui shot back.

Minghao stopped gathering his stuff, ceasing his movements altogether before dropping his things with a small bang at dully echoed throughout the studio.

Then, it was _so_ quiet it actually scared Junhui.

The ghost boy turned around and approached Junhui with swift steps till he was planted right in front of him, a glare lining his eyes. This was the closest Junhui has ever been to the skeleton, and he noticed quite a lot. Junhui being taller was the biggest factor, proving his own observations wrong from a week ago.

"You don't know the _first_ thing about me."

Junhui raised his eyebrows at the harsh words.

"And you don't know the first thing about me, either."

Minghao's pretty eyes narrowed again, and then followed Junhui's eyes. The silence between both boys was tense and heavy. Junhui broke it without much of a thought process behind his words.

"What's your name? Full name."

The ghost boy shifted his weight to one foot, skinny arms crossed tight over his chest. If being stubborn was a personality trait it would be him. This _thing_ right in front of Junhui.

"Xu Minghao."

_Xu. Xu Minghao_, he repeated the name in his mind as if it were a prayer or a cult ritual chant. This Xu Minghao jerked his head at Junhui.

"Now you?"

"Wen Junhui."

He caught the slight glimmer in Minghao's eyes before it dissolved back into the dark brown.

"Why are you here?" Minghao asked right away, never breaking eye contact.

Junhui bit his lip.

"Schizophrenia," he said confidently, crossing his arms.

_The word burned in his mouth_, but he ignored it as he watched Minghao raise his eyebrows, the shorter boy's eyes roaming Junhui like he was trying to picture it all together.

"Actually? Wow is it like, bad? Do you see shit and all that?"

Junhui laughed dryly, eyes dramatically shifting to behind the boy.

"Yeah, right there. There's a giant clown standing behind you with a knife."

A smile tugged at the corners of the other's lips as he turned around jokingly before turning back to Junhui.

"Wait... you're kidding me," the boy grinned.

"I'm completely joking with you. There's actually three of them and they're holding chainsaws."

The little laugh that came from Minghao's mouth might have been one of the purest noises Junhui has ever heard in his entire life, if that wasn't at all dramatic.

That forced the next question out of his mouth before he could stop it or think twice about it.

"Now, why are _you_ here?"

Minghao's dark eyes settled back on Junhui's, before grinning and taking a step back and holding out his arms to the sides. He watched the boy's sweatshirt pool off of his arms, making the small piece of fabric look gigantic on his oh-so-skinny frame.

"There's nothing wrong with me, there's just shit wrong with other people."

Junhui's words got caught in his throat once Minghao spoke, expecting a response completely different from the one he received. He opened his mouth to speak but got cut off.

"I have nothing wrong with how I look, so why should I give a shit about what others think? Everybody says it's unhealthy, but what do they know? Nothing. We're all probably _dead_ anyways. So what's the point of being sane? Of doing anything?"

Junhui practically choked, blinking back his look of shock as Minghao's words sunk into his mind.

_We're all probably dead anyways_.

Had he found somebody else who shared the same thoughts as he did and as they had told him?

"Y-Yeah. I agree."

The corners of Minghao's mouth stretched into a smile, lifting his cheekbones and scrunching his nose just slightly. This boy was _pretty_.

"Cool."

Minghao turned and gathered his things as Junhui watched, the skinny boy approached him again after doing so.

"I believe this is goodnight, Junhui."

Now it was his turn to smile, stepping aside for Minghao to walk through towards the door.

"Goodnight, Minghao."

_Will we talk again?_ Is what he wanted to ask, but the words didn't form in his mouth. Though, he luckily stayed in reality just long enough to hear Minghao's.

"Same time tomorrow, _clown_."

Junhui whipped around at those words, catching Minghao's little smirk before he was gone in the next second down the hallway, like a ghost.

His heart was beating fast, and the smile didn't fade even when he was completely alone again. Standing in the studio, alone, grinning like an idiot.

He looked down at his hands, wiggling his fingers before lifting them to his face.

_Same time tomorrow_.

-

"Jun, you look _exhausted_."

Junhui was leaning against the table, eyes half-lidded, his head and eyes heavy with tiredness as he took Wonwoo's notebook with a sheepish smile.

"I'm fine."

"Did you even sleep last night?" Mingyu asked, sitting down next to Wonwoo and diagonal from the sleep-deprived boy.

Junhui just chuckled, shrugging as he scribbled random little doodles in the margins.

"_Yeah_."

Wonwoo sighed, grabbing Junhui's face so he was forced to look at the smaller boy right in the eyes that always held such intimidating yet soft stare.

“Why? Are you okay? Are you hurting yourself? Are you-"

"Wonu, I'm fine. I'm just on new meds and they messed with my sleep schedule. It's normal, I promise," Junhui lied straight through his teeth, giving an undeniable grin to Wonwoo who just huffed.

That wasn't the truth, and the relief that glistened in Wonwoo's eyes made guilt settle in the pit of his stomach. The _real_ truth was he had been out at the studio with Xu Minghao, and when the ghost boy left, he didn't sleep a wink.

He couldn't sleep a wink, his mind was too stimulated.

"Okay, I'm sorry. It's just-"

"He does it to me too. Every time something is remotely wrong," Mingyu stated loudly.

"I do it because I care, dumbass," Wonwoo snapped, shooting a glare at Mingyu who just grinned widely.

"I know you do."

Junhui barely listened to the two argue, putting whatever conscious focus he had on the stupid little doodles he was scribbling in Wonwoo's notebook. All of this happened of course before he caught a glimpse of the black mullet scaling across the cafe.

Junhui lifted his head, tired eyes now alert as he subtly observed Minghao, pressing his pencil so hard into the paper the lead broke. That was when the ghost looked up, making eye contact with Junhui for about two seconds, pale face expressionless. He raised his eyebrows just as he was completely snapped out of it.

"Jun, you alright?"

Junhui pulled his attention back to Wonwoo and Mingyu, who were giving him confused and concerned stares. He just smiled in the way he knew best as Mingyu's eyes wandered over to where Junhui's were before.

"Is _he_ giving you trouble?"

Junhui's eyes widened, shaking his head rapidly.

"No, no. He's not. I promise," he sputtered, Mingyu's narrowed eyes moving back to Junhui's.

A part of him itched to tell them, but he just _couldn't_ for some reason. It was like this secret he had to keep, and he didn't know why he felt the need to.

"Get some rest tonight Junnie... okay?"

He looked into Wonwoo's dark orbs, nodding with a little smile lining his lips.

"I will."

_Not_, he thought to himself, the truth ringing around in his head until lunch had slowly ended, and they were forced to move on with their day. As Junhui walked out of the cafe where his administrator was waiting for him, those cat-like eyes and cheekbones passed right in front of his vision, for just a second as Minghao advanced the other direction before he could even begin to process it. 

He was almost positive this boy was going to be the slow and painful death of him, if it will.


	4. #four

"These teachers are so oblivious," the pale boy mumbled, his voice smooth yet rough with hate.

Junhui still felt the rushing pulse in his veins with the energy it took to quietly sprint down the hallways full of sleeping patients, to not trip over the beanbag chairs, and to quickly open the door to the dimly-lit studio where even more of the very little air in his lungs dissolved passed his lips.

Both Chinese boys were on opposing sides of the hardwood, stretching what each needed to be stretched on their own bodies. Minghao worked on his long legs, while Junhui focused on stretching out his back against the cold mirror. He twisted himself around, so he was eye-to-eye with his reflection, furrowing his brows that person that was standing there.

"See one of those clowns again?"

Junhui turned back around at Minghao's comment, a small grin lighting his lips when he saw the boy in a full split on the floor.

"No, just wondering who the hell my reflection is."

Minghao giggled at Junhui as he brought his legs together like it was the easiest thing in the world, pushing himself to his feet. How could he be so flexible like that when he was so... paper-thin?

"Will I see you dance today?" Junhui pondered aloud, watching the younger boy dust himself off with a soft hum and a click of his tongue.

"Sure. Now get out of my way."

So, this was the forth night Junhui snuck out of his room in the middle of the night to see the skinny boy under the shitty lighting of the studio. Yesterday, they had talked about simple things about the place they currently resided, and about themselves personally as well.

Junhui gathered a few more facts about Minghao in just that night. First, how he was younger than Junhui, just by a year, five months, and three days. And Minghao had a passion for dancing ever since he was four years old.

He really didn't like a lot of people, but he said Junhui was "kind of tolerable", whatever that meant. He hated being here, he hated talking to the therapists, he hated existing in general. He hated food, overly happy people, squeaky chairs, when people walked too slow, when people cry, winter, sandals, and flannels.

All of that and Junhui didn't hear him say a _single thing _about _why _he was here, _how _he got here, or about his illness. Which was fine he guessed, but it was a little odd avoiding such a big topic.

_"Oranges are my favorite food"_, was the closest Junhui heard Minghao talk about food in general. He respected it, of course, and didn't prod at the subject.

_"But... I thought you didn't like food?" _Junhui had asked.

_"I like the juice. The stringy part is gross."_

So now Junhui was standing in front of this strange boy as Minghao shook out his skinny limbs, something cracking so loudly Junhui was sure one of his bones snapped under his skin, making his eyes go wide.

"Holy shit are you-"

"It's normal, Jun."

_Jun. _Minghao's voice saying just that word, his name, rang through his head for a solid ten seconds straight as the boy glided over to the dusty CD player in the corner.

Junhui took a shallow breath as a melodic piano began pumping dully from the old player.

Minghao positioned himself back in the middle of the small studio, pausing in position with his head down. Then he started moving, and every noise, light, sound, and memory faded from Junhui's conscious mind.

He leaned back against the mirror, eyes focused on the boy who moved like music was the only language he knew how to express. _Wow, holy wow._

He moved like he was weightless across the floorboards, and perhaps he really did only weigh a couple of ounces and a feather.

Junhui's breath was gone, caught in his chest as Minghao's skinny limbs moved so smoothly with his stick-like figure to the tempo of the song he just now realized was in Chinese.

_Twisting, and turning, and floating, and gliding._

"Hey, clown! You good?"

Junhui snapped out of his own head as soon as he heard the voice, lights and Minghao flooding his vision. Had it already ended?

"W-what?"

Minghao's pale face dropped, and so did those cheekbones.

"I knew I shouldn't have-"

"NO!" Junhui yelled louder than he intended to.

He cleared his throat, face burning with embarrassment as the opposing boy just raised his eyebrows.

"It was really good. Like amazing."

It took a second but soon, an adorable, beaming smile formed on Minghao's lips. And Junhui realized he really liked it seeing it.

"It's your turn."

Junhui blinked, staring for a second before nodding and moving towards the middle of the room, Minghao leaning against the mirror to watch.

He suddenly felt a wave of nervousness come over his entire body and rest in the pit of his stomach. He wanted to disintegrate under Minghao's stare and lay face down on the floor if that was at all relatable.

He almost forgot everything about the situation, and he felt like his feet were glued to the floor until Minghao pushed himself off the wall. He glided up to Junhui, who had no concept of how much time had just gone by. Disassociating was a bitch.

"Hey," the ghost boy mumbled, "It's just me."

_It's just me._

Junhui could hardly believe the softness in the boy's voice and facial features. His heart perpetually slowed to a normal rate.

"You don't have to," Minghao started.

"No I want to I just..."

Junhui trailed off, getting lost in the picture that was Minghao's face. Brown cat eyes glazed over with softness laying above cheekbones that poked out of his skin was staring back at him. His nose was so cute, small and easily kissable. His eyebrows were hidden by his black bangs, leading to the mullet that trailed down the back of his neck like a waterfall and framed his face so elegantly. God, how could someone look so sculpted and holy _fuck_-

_"You're so pretty."_

"What?"

"Fuck," Junhui cursed under his breath, not like Minghao could hear it, "I didn't mean to say that."

He caught Minghao's face of surprise drop a little bit.

"You didn't?"

Junhui panicked, babbling like an idiot for words.

"No! I mean, yes? I-I mean no, I didn't mean t-to say it out loud b-but yes I-"

A finger pressed over his lips, a cold one, "Stop before you ruin it."

Junhui looked down at the finger over his lips, before up at Minghao's curious eyes. The ghost boy was studying Junhui's face like he was a math equation. _Holy fuck. _Junhui felt his knees become a little weak.

"You're not bad yourself, clown," the shorter hummed, removing his finger from Junhui's lips.

-

"I'm not saying birds are spy's for the government which has turned against its citizens in order to make it easier to control them and gain money, but that's exactly what I'm saying."

"You know too much, now they're gonna kill you," Junhui just shook his head at Wonwoo, who was slumped against Mingyu's shoulder.

"Then _kill me_," the smaller boy threatened, a smirk on his lips and a glint in his eyes before he got smacked by both boys.

"No. Bad Wonu, no carrots for you," Mingyu scolded.

"But love carrots!"

"Too bad."

Wonwoo pout was short-lived before he was launching himself towards Junhui like he was all of a sudden famous.

"Junnie babe, I forgot to ask you, how was your day?"

Junhui smiled lightly at the black-haired boy, reaching out to ruffle his curls like he did basically every day.

"Pretty shitty, but much better now that I get to see you guys."

Wonwoo awed loudly, cooing at Junhui's response and nudging the big puppy next to him.

"Isn't Wen Jun the sweetest boy ever?"

Junhui could never outwardly express how much he loved Wonwoo and Mingyu, and how much their mere presence lightened his mental state and got him through every day a little bit quicker. It would be impossible for him to even begin to explain how much they meant to him.

That made him wonder briefly, about a certain spirit. _What got Minghao through his day if he was so alone all the time?_

"He's wondering again."

"Hello, earth to Junhui."

The said boy shook himself out of his curious daze, giving each boy a tiny smile with sudden words, "I love you guys. Gyu, Wonu."

He got big grins in return that warmed him greatly.

"We love you too, Jun."

That was when loud cough ripped through the cafe, ruining the moment and crushing the otherwise pretty silent atmosphere. Junhui's eyes darted around the room, before magnetically landing on the black mullet and cheekbones.

Minghao in return shot him a curious and seemingly bored look before standing up from his spot, taking his tray with him to the trashcan. Junhui glanced around his table, picking up the empty bag of carrots with a fake smile.

"I'll throw this out for you because I'm _so _nice."

"Why thanks, Junnie."

He didn't think he could move any quicker towards the trashcans, crushing the plastic bag in his grip as he made it to where Minghao was dumping his uneaten items.

The ghost barely batted an eye.

"Um, hello," Junhui mumbled, catching the boy's cat eyes with his own.

"Can I help you?" Minghao raised his eyebrows, a light expression falling over his features.

Junhui scoffed, throwing away the plastic bag a little too aggressively, "Don't have to be rude."

"I'm not being _rude_. I just asked you a question."

"You could have just said _hi_, that's usually how _normal_ people greet each other."

"Well we're not normal now are we, _Junnie_."

_Junnie. _He had ever only heard Wonwoo call him that. But, for some reason, the nickname coming from the Chinese boy's lips made him feel a completely different way.

He also would have been thankful if someone could slap on the head every time he froze up and got stuck in an ocean of thoughts and emotions. But no one ever did.

"I have to go," spoke the skinny boy suddenly.

Junhui, at last, looked up, locking eyes with Minghao.

"I'll see you later, Hao."

The other boy smiled slightly, lips curling upwards before he was turning around and walking away from Junhui.

Once he regained his sense of reality, he walked back to Wonwoo and Mingyu, who were staring at him as if he had three heads.

"What was that?" the taller asked.

Junhui plopped back down, gathering his things and papers before standing back up, patting Mingyu's head and gently poking Wonwoo's nose.

"Nothing. I have to go early today and get ready for a new thing today. I'll see you guys later."

He left his confused friends behind as he almost skipped out of the cafe, walking as fast as he could once he was out of there. He grinned to himself, excitement filling him up for tonight.

"Wen Junhui," a Chinese voice spoke from up ahead, making him jump.

He looked up and saw Minghao's messy black hair at the end of the hallway. He could basically tell the younger was smiling.

"You look good today," Minghao called.

Junhui didn't think he could feel so flustered in his entire life. He had no clue what to say as he choked for words.

"That's payback for calling me pretty yesterday."

Junhui approached him, shaking his head in disbelief at Minghao and his little satisfied, smug smile.

"Was it _just_ payback...?" Junhui asked him with a little smirk.

The younger looked up at the ceiling in fake thought, reaching out to flick Junhui on the forehead.

"Maybe, maybe not. But, no. Although, yes," Minghao mumbled teasingly, before turning and walking down the hallway.

Junhui was left in a puddle of confusion, trying to piece it together into making some sense.

"What does that even mean, Minghao?" Junhui called after him.

The boy turned around, rolling his eyes.

"It means I think you're attractive, clown."


End file.
